Stundent paper review

My favorite author wrote about a man and his pot in  a fantasy setting. I enjoyed the way the author managed the storyline with a strong introduction before introducing characters. Also the intro ended in a cliffhanger way to intrigue the reader. "No one knows where it (the pot) is until now... 1,000 years later." (1) In the second paragraph there was a conflict introduced which helped this story stand out amung the others. "They all knew it was the good luck pot, and would stop at nothing to get it (from the protagonist)." (2) The story had it's flaws though in that plot points were introduced and passed by very quickly. " He wanted to break the curse, so he went to the village wizard. It was a giant wooden head that knew everything. He was told the only way to break the curse was to travel to Africa..." (3) That example moves through quite a lot in three sentences.

My least Favorite author wrote of a family and their maid. I felt that this story was structured but the flow from topic to topic was rough. "She was cleaning the blanket. At this time, the landlord’s son back home and found the jade was disappeared." (4) This example shows how these two sentences don't really describe welly that the maid is taking suspicious actions. I felt that certain sentenses felt like fragments that should not have been stand alone sentenses. "One day, the landlord’s son back home with his new collection that is a jade. That is his favorite collection. He used the ruler to record its length, wide, height. After that, he put it into drawer." (5) These sentenses I feel should be revised and rearranged.

(1) http://eng191f12s28brittanyhof.blogspot.com/, September 4, 2012
(2) http://eng191f12s28brittanyhof.blogspot.com/, September 4, 2012
(3) http://eng191f12s28brittanyhof.blogspot.com/, September 4, 2012
(4) http://en191f12s28bingzhe.blogspot.com/, September 4, 2012
(5) http://en191f12s28bingzhe.blogspot.com/, September 4, 2012